…in which he vows not to look at too many photos from home.

I was looking through the photos on my computer Saturday afternoon. Nostalgia didn’t wash over me, it sucked me in like a deadly undertow. I immediately tried writing to exorcise what I was feeling. I came up with words like ‘urgent’ and ‘sentimental.’ I even had a final line forming about how I took the photos to help me, but I didn’t expect them to leave me longing for a hug. I scrapped the whole thing because I didn’t want anyone thinking I’d gone all weepy.

With that in mind, I do miss you all very much. I miss the wonderful visits to my grandma in Cedar Rapids and the Casavants in Iowa City. I miss the time with Grandma Jean and Meredith and my Parents in Naples. I miss my BBQ’s with friends from college. I miss Beth and the time we spent in Wisconsin and Columbus. I miss hannah and our policy sessions. I miss Jason and Tine and James and Jess and our late night runs to Steak ‘n Shake. I miss Katie and our lunches. I miss Zak and the fun we had after WILD last spring. I miss Chris and the time we spent hanging out in Taipei. I miss Sandra and our tea time in the kitchen. The pictures really brought all of that out.

A nap and a night with friends helped me realize that I’m doing ok here even if all those wonderful things are mostly pictures and memories now. When I was much younger I visited my grandparents from Iowa. At the end of one of those visits, I remember my Grandma Lauree was crying. She was upset because we had to leave and she enjoyed our visits so much. I was a little kid, so I didn’t fully understand, but of course I wanted my grandma to be happy. I told her to think about how happy she was when we first arrived. If we didn’t leave too, then we couldn’t arrive again. She kind of laughed and stopped crying and we were both ok. She reminded me of that several years later but I had never forgotten. Now when I think of that and I think of all the good things I’ve done, I suspect that all these things are so good because they are so fleeting.